He did what any good doctor would do and sent us BOTH to a psychiatrist. We went to our appointment the following week. I was a bit nervous......I had never been to
It seems as soon as I got settled in my chair the head doctor asked me to step outside for a moment. I did, praying that 4WB didn't destroy his office in the 5.6 seconds we were on the other side of the door. Head doctor told me that when we went back in his office he was going to talk to me, but he did not want me to correct 4WB or say anything about what he was doing while we talked. Uh.....emkay.
We went back in and he started asking me about 4WB's sleeping habits, eating habits, social skills, and so on. Now 4WB is sitting to my right and I can see him bouncing in this nice leather chair. It was one of those with a springy center, and here is this 5 year old bouncing like he is in one of those moon walk things they have at birthday parties.
I did as the head doctor said, and didn't say a word which was very hard for me. I mean I was used to having to correct him with at least every three breaths. I could barely concentrate on the questions I was being asked when suddenly he turned upside down in the chair. Now picture this.....a nervous emotionally drained mom sitting, trying to have a serious conversation while shifting her eyes to the right at a little 5 year old, cute, eyeglasses wearing boy who is sitting upside down in a bouncy leather chair swinging his feet back and forth as if he were dancing on the ceiling.
As if that wasn't bad enough, he changes positions again..... I am cringing wondering what is he going to do next? 4WB is now sitting, looking at me. I try not to look at him and keep my eyes focused on the head doctor. Then suddenly, 4WB leans close to my ear as if her were about to whisper something. Then at the top of his lungs he starts singing "Who let the dogs out, who? who?" I could have died.
Although it was very serious to me then, I die out laughing every time I think of that now. He use to love that song and would sing it often. The problem was he never knew when it was appropriate and inappropriate.
We continued our bi-weekly visits for about two months. During this time, I still had 4WB on his restrictive diet of no caffeine, nothing with artificial red dye, and a small amount of sugar. Doesn't sound so bad until you start looking at food labels and realize EVERYTHING has artificial red dye or coloring in it.
Finally, on our 8th visit, the head doctor ask 4WB to go play with the ladies at the front desk. He just wants to talk to me. I thought to myself.....here it comes....he is going to tell me I am a terrible parent and 4WB's problems are because of me. But I was mistaken on that thought. He told me that 4WB demonstrated one of the worse ADHD cases he had ever seen.
Let me tell you, the head doctor had been practicing a long time at this point. I think we should have been given a prize. I am really quite surprise that he didn't want to video tape us for future therapist. Not only was he diagnosed severely ADHD, but he was also given the diagnosis of having an obsessive disorder about wanting everything he did to be perfect. (I should probley take credit for the obsessive issues. I am glad he didn't tell me my diagnosis.)
We continued therapy and tried many different suggestions from the good head doctor. Strict scheduling, talking eye to eye anytime we talked to 4WB, discussing accommodations with his teacher, etc. Life was still a struggle for us all.
Finally, I agreed after his first grade year to try the medicine after a very serious session with the head doctor. He again sent 4WB out of the room and told me that if my son knew what suicide was, he would be there. It still gives me chills to this day to remember him saying this to me. I couldn't understand. Mechanic Man and I were very loving parents. We provided a wonderful, stable home. 4WB had loving grandparents, aunts, and uncles. How could this head doctor tell me this?
It was a combination of the ADHD and the obsessive disorder. 4WB had realized at the young, tender age of 7, that his work would never be perfect so why even try. He had began giving up, not even attempting things at school anymore. You see, society has a very bad habit of labeling children BAD when really they aren't. He was just an active, unique little boy who just couldn't seem to fit in.
He was prescribed Concerta. It was a wonderful medicine except that it was torture trying to get a now 7 year old to swallow it. After a few short weeks, I noticed we were reverting back to previous behavior and patterns. I couldn't figure it out until I moved the couch to vacuum one weekend and found all these little Concerta pills under it.
How smart is that for a 7 year old? He would act as if he swallowed it with me in the kitchen only to walk in the living room and hide it under the couch. I called the doctor the following Monday, and he changed his prescription to a pill that was not long acting and could be broken in half or crushed. This time it was Adderall.
4WB was a different child. He had real friends. He wasn't an outcast in public situations anymore. He even got a smiley face from the teacher! And best of all, my son and I had the loving, fun relationship I had always longed for.
Things had even gotten better in the last 5 years! I will try to finish this one up tomorrow.
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4 comments:
Our stories are SO similar. My daughter is on Concerta and I call it our wonder drug. It brought the REAL her back. Things are SO much better now. And she's not a zombie or completely agreeable to things, she's still a normal 13yo, but she's passing her classes and not stealling and not crying and carrying on every single day. We were reluctant to try meds, but we knew we had to do something to get her back. We thought we'd try them to get her under control and then try to teach her some coping skills so that maybe she didn't need them anymore. But, she's still on them now (2 years), she likes feeling in control. We're not pushing her to stop. I think that once she's out of high school she may be alright on her own bc she won't be forced to sit in a classroom for 7 hours learning stuff that doesn't interest her. We tell her that as an adult she'll be able to choose a career that suits her interests and her personality and may not need meds at that point.
Wow, I just wrote a whole book. But, it's nice to hear that someone else has gone through something similar. I know society as a whole thinks that ADHD is way overdiagnosed and the parents get criticized for putting their kids on meds even though it's the best thing for them.
You are so luckily to have such a supportive and wonderful doctor (at least so far in the story, I hope it continues). It's hard when you get used to correcting behaviors to let them go. Hang in there :)
What a great story. Thanks for sharing it with us. I am glad 4WB is doing so much better!
looking forward to hearing hte rest of the story!
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