My son, 4-wheeler boy(4WB), is now 12. I can't explain how I feel about ADHD without going back to his baby days. 4WB was a wonderful, full term, healthy baby. I followed all the baby book recommendations while I was pregnant. I listened to classical music at least two hours a day. (I was commuting to finish my BSE at this time so I listened in the car.) I read to my belly often. I ate lots of fruits and vegetables, and I even exercised.
4WB arrived weighing 8 pounds and 12 1/2 ounces. He slept and ate well. He hit all his milestones at the suggested time.
Now bare in mind that I am teaching by the time he reaches the age of 2. I had many friends who also had children around the same age. I started noticing differences when we all got together for "play" days.
I shrugged this off, thinking my boy is just different. When he was 4 and was about to start pre-school I noticed that he could never watch short episodes on television. I wouldn't have thought anything of this, but all my friend's children were watching television for small amounts of time. Again, I shrugged it off.
When he entered pre-school it was as if the teacher immediately thought he should be medicated. I will never forget her calling me and mechanic man in to talk. We were so nervous and thought it must be really bad. I wanted to laugh in her face when she so seriously told me he wasn't paying attention during carpet time. I asked if he was bothering other children. No. Is he struggling academically with what you are teaching during carpet time? No. Then, what is he doing? She sat for a moment then leaned over and in a whisper voice said "He is playing with his shoestrings!"
I know I sat there with my jaw hanging. I should have stood up and loudly said I was taking him to boarding school that we just couldn't have a child that played with his shoestrings! I mean really......HE WAS 4 YEARS OLD!
Let me tell you, that teacher lost all ground with me that very day. We made it through 4 year old by simply smiling and saying thank you when she told us these types of things.
The next year, 4WB entered K5. Things became a little more serious. He wasn't sleeping well at night. He would spout back when I told him to do something. He couldn't sit still even for a few minutes, and when he was sitting he was sitting on his feet, rocking. He was tapping, bouncing, kicking, or something ALL THE TIME! Now, I know some of you are saying....here it is another poorly behaved child put on medicine because his parents are too lazy to discipline him.
I assure you that is not the case. I spanked 4WB at least twice a day, sometimes three or four times. I tried sending him to his room and the time out chair. Nothing seemed to work. I usually ended my day in tears, feeling like a horrible mother.
Let me interupt the story right here to say. I have been complimented on my behavior management with my students. I have been invited to do workshops for other teachers on classroom management, so PLEASE do not think I was lacking as a parent.
One day I finally lost it. I mean really lost it! I drove to the my child's doctor's office, which happen to be my uncle. When he came in the room where we were I completely broke down. You know the kind of crying where you can't breath, your face is all scrunched up, snot is running out of your nose, and your trying to tell something which no one can understand? I said "I don't know if it is me needing parenting classes or him needed some therapy but WE need help!"
He worked for about 30 minutes to calm me down and then we had a rational conversation.
(Tune in tomorrow for what he told me that day.)
Absurdly Yours by
Absurdly Yours is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at
absurdlyyours.blogspot.com.
Posts
3 comments:
It took me until our daughter was 11 to get her diagnosed. She was acting out like no other 11 yo and I finally realized she wasn't jusst a bad kid, just couldn't control herself. I'm interested in the rest.
You poor thing. It's so sad when parent's feel they have to worry about what people will think of them if their child isn't behaving.
As a former teacher, I have seen ADHD, and it is totally real and just to let the world know, that while it may be frustrating to them, it's even more frustrating to the child.
Hang in there :)
I don't think for a second that you are a bad mother! I have seen what you saw first hand and I remember what a struggle it was for my brother... not so much my parents. I'm glad you are sharing your story. Keep it coming!
Post a Comment